31 Year Old Woman Marilyn Krisp Has Sex With Giraffe To Protect A Family Of Baby Koalas From Being Murdered By The Mafia

It was reported earlier today that a mother koala and her four babies were koala-napped by the Mafia from a local zoo in San Francisco. The Mafia members who operated this theft left behind a note stating their claims for the Koalas’ return. The note stated the following: “We would first like to inform you that the koalas are healthy and in good care. If you would like to see the koalas’ return, you must comply with our claims.
We demand footage of a woman having sex with a giraffe. Once you have obtained said footage, place the tape in a John Cena lunchbox and bury it under the elm tree next to the stone wall. Once we acquire the tape and clarify that it is legit, we will safely return the koalas to the zoo. You have one week from today to deliver the footage to the previously listed location. If you do not deliver the tape within the time given, we will violently murder the koalas. 3 Mafia” 
After discovering the disappearance of the koalas and the note left behind by the Mafia, the head of the San Francisco Zoo searched  for a volunteer who was willing to have sex with one of their giraffes to guarantee the koalas’ safe return. After a couple days of searching, 31 year old Marilyn Krisp steps up to the challenge. When questioned about her acceptance of the giraffe’s shaft, she replied with this statement: “Gotta protect dem durn koalas bub yee yee roll coal!” Soon after the video was recorded, the head of the zoo placed the tape in a John Cena lunchbox and buried it under the elm tree.  A week later, workers at the San Francisco Zoo came to work that morning with a joyous surprise as they noticed that all of the koalas were returned to their pen. After a brief inspection, the workers clarified that the koalas were all healthy and not injured. On the floor of the pen, a note was located with a message stating the following: “gg”  

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